Are you thinking about suicide?
I ask you to read the following first.
If you're facing suicidal thoughts, give yourself some time to read this text. It will take only five minutes of your time. I do not want to distract you from your unpleasant feelings. I'm not a therapist or any other mental health professional, just someone who knows how it is to experience bad feelings.
I do not know who you are or why you're reading this text. All I know is that you read it and it's good. I can assume you're here because you're in trouble and you're thinking about the termination of your life. If so, I'd love to be with you in these moments to sit and talk, face to face and sincerely from the heart, but since this is impossible, this way might help too.
I know many people who wanted to take their own life, so I have some idea of how you feel. I know that you certainly do not feel like reading some big book about it, so I will try to be short. While we are together for the next five minutes, there are five simple, practical things I'd like to share with you. I do not want to argue whether you should take your own life, but assuming you are already thinking about it, it must be pretty hard.
Well, since you're still here, which is very good, I would like to ask you to stay with me until the end of the text. I hope it means that you at least a little bit unsure, somewhere deep inside, about ending your life. People often feel that way, even in moments of greatest darkness and despair. This kind of uncertainty is normal and quite OK. The fact that you are still alive means that you are still a bit hesitant and, even though you feel you want to die, a part of you still wants to live. Well, let's stay on it for the next few minutes.
Let's look at the following sentence:
"Suicide is not chosen;
it happens when the pain overcomes mechanisms
which normally alleviate it. "
That is all. You're not a bad person, a lunatic, a weak person. Nothing is wrong with you just because you're thinking about suicide. It does not even mean that you really want to die - it only means that you are trying to cope with more pain than you can handle. If someone is constantly adding weight on your shoulders, at one point you'll inevitably kneel down when the weight is too heavy ... regardless of how much you want to stand. (This is why it makes no sense to say "Cheer up!" - of course you would do it if you could!)
Do not accept statements like: "it's nothing, it's not worth dying." There are many types of pain that can lead to suicidal thoughts. When it is that the pain becomes unbearable, what will cause that feeling that we can not cope any more is impossible to say because it is different for each and everyone. What is tolerable for someone else, may not be tolerable to you and vice versa. The moment when the pain becomes unbearable depends on your previous experience in coping with it.
When the pain becomes too strong to be able to overcome it, we become suicidal. Suicide is neither right nor wrong, neither good nor bad; it does not show a lack of character; it is morally neutral. It is simply a disproportion between pain and ways to alleviate it.
There are two ways to snap out of thinking about suicide:
- to find a way to alleviate your pain
- to improve methods to overcome the pain.
Both possibilities should be taken into consideration.
I would like to draw your attention to a few things that you should consider:
You should know that there are people who actually manage to overcome all his/her thoughts about suicide - even people who feel as bad as you do now. Statistically, the chances that you will overcome it too, are quite good. I hope this information gives you at least some hope.
Allow yourself to distance from the situation. Say, "I'll wait 24 hours before I do anything." Or a week. Do not forget that feelings and actions are two different things – the fact that you want to kill yourself does not mean you need to do that immediately. Leave yourself some time between your wish to die and actions you undertake. Can you do this for 5 minutes after you finish reading this article? Continue to do anything that you previously did, and see that, although you still want to take your life, you still haven’t done it. It sounds very encouraging to me, and I hope it does to you too.
People often turn to suicide when seeking shelter from the pain they face. Remember that the feeling of relief from the pain is just a feeling and that you have to be alive to feel it. You will not be able to feel the relief you need so much if you're dead.
Some people will react badly to your suicidal feelings, usually if they are scared or angry; they can actually cause even more pain instead of helping you, despite having good intentions, by speaking or acting in haste. You have to understand that their negative reactions are not about you, but their own fears. However, there are people who can be with you at this difficult time, who will not judge or argue with you, send you to a hospital or attempt to distract you from bad feelings. They simply care about you. Find one of them. Now, use your 24 hours or a week, and tell him / her / them what is happening and what you're going through. There is no shame in seeking help, for example .... call psychotherapist, find a friend you can talk to or anyone who wants to listen. It is important that you do not impose yourself to unnecessary burden alone trying to get through. A simple talk about things that got you into the situation that you're thinking about suicide will release this enormous pressure, and may be an additional tool that you need to regain your balance.
Suicidal thoughts are traumatic. After they fade away, you have to continue to take care of yourself. Therapy is a really good idea.
Well, as you can see, it's been a few minutes and you're still with me. I am really glad for that.
Since you got this far, you deserve a reward. I think you might reward yourself with one present - let it be, for example, a new way to overcome the pain. Remember what I wrote earlier, at the beginning. I said that the main idea is that you have more resources and ways of overcoming than amount of pain. Well, why not find one more way, or two, or ten ...! Until the pain becomes bearable.
Although this site may not be able to give you some comfort and relief, the best way to overcome your pain is another human being and talk. If you find someone who wants to listen and tell him / her how you feel and how did you get into thinking about suicide, then you have already increased your resources against pain. With a bit of luck, the first person you meet will not be the last. There are actually a lot of people around you who would like to listen. It is time to start searching for some of them.